Most parents support their young adult children financially. Communication and deadlines can help. (Getty Images)

By Kimberly Palmer | NerdWallet

It turns out that children still need their parents even when they grow up.

About 6 in 10 parents say they helped their young adult children financially in the past year, according to a Pew Research Center report released earlier this year. The most common forms of support? Household expenses, cell phone bills and subscriptions to streaming services.

“Parents have always helped their children, but one of the real questions is, ‘How much is too much?'” says Anne Lester, author of “Your Best Financial Life.” The answer, she explains, depends on how much help parents can afford, as well as each family’s parenting values.

To help young adults become financially independent, financial experts recommend the following strategies:

Talk about money early

“Preparing young adults for self-employment starts when they are younger and still living at home,” says Mindy Oglesby, a certified financial planner and founder of Oglesby Wealth Strategies in Watkinsville, Georgia.

To help children become financially independent as adults, “it’s important to teach them to make small sacrifices for something they want,” she says. For example, children can earn pocket money by helping around the house.

Then, when children have to manage their own money, parents can show them how to use a budgeting strategy and immediately put some of the money into a savings account for the future, Oglesby adds. They can also use some of it to buy something they want, like a toy. “It teaches them to set goals and work for things,” she says.

Rose Niang, CFP and director of financial planning at Edelman Financial Engines, says it’s also helpful to talk to your kids about financial actions you’ve taken on your own, like paying off credit card debt or saving for retirement. “These are conversations you can bring up at any time and they’ll help them later,” she says.

Consider charging rent

As those children grow up, living with parents is a popular way to delay major expenses. According to the Pew report, about 57% of young adults between the ages of 18 and 24 live with their parents. Most say they contribute financially to the household in some way. This may include paying for groceries, bills or rent.

Paying young adults money to live at home is a good way to encourage financial independence, Oglesby says, especially if parents put rent payments into a savings account so the child can use them toward a home of their own one day.

The ideal amount of “rent” really depends on the situation, she says, adding that “not everyone will be able to contribute,” and that’s OK. It can be a goal they work toward.

Help with certain purchases

Instead of providing blanket financial assistance, Lester suggests helping young adults with specific expenses, such as making a down payment on their first home or covering groceries and rent while they look for a job or go to school. “Because if you just have an empty checkbook, nobody learns anything,” she adds.

Niang says it can also be helpful to focus on helping a young adult with their “needs,” such as food and shelter, while letting them figure out how to handle their “wants,” such as a new car or concert tickets.

Set realistic deadlines

Niang recommends setting and communicating realistic deadlines so your children can prepare for when parental support ends. For example, you could tell your child that they will take over payments on their cell phone bill once they start their first real job with a steady salary.

Meeting milestones like getting your first job is a big help, Niang adds.

Elaine King, CFP and founder of the firm Family and Money Matters, says it’s easier for young adults to phase out financial support slowly. Parents might initially reduce their support for living expenses from 100% to 80%, then to 50% before dropping to zero. “Don’t do it all at once so they can get another job or adjust,” she advises.

Help them build their own wealth

Lynnette Khalfani-Cox, personal finance expert and author of Bounce Back: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Resilience, suggests helping young adult children build their own wealth using a method she calls the Wealth Starter Kit.

For some, this approach may also include buying real estate for their children, which is what she did for her own children. When her daughter was in college, she and her husband bought her a condo to help her establish residency in the state so she could attend college. This helped keep tuition costs down while providing her with a place to live and an asset that would increase in value over time.

“This investment strategy has more than paid off,” says Khalfani-Cox. It worked so well that she and her husband repeated the strategy with their son. She emphasizes that every child is different and some need more support than others.

A similar but less costly way to help adult children build wealth might be to help them set up retirement accounts and develop a permanent strategy for their growth.

Protect your own finances

One of the most important rules for parents is to first make sure their own finances are secure before offering assistance to their adult children. According to the Pew report, 36% of parents who helped their young adult children financially in the past year say it affected their own personal financial situation to at least some extent.

“Try to show them through your own life that you are financially stable,” suggests Oglesby. “You are setting a good example.”

Kimberly Palmer writes for NerdWallet. Email: [email protected]. Twitter: @kimberlypalmer.

The article “Supporting Adult Children? How to Land the Financial Helicopter” originally appeared on NerdWallet.